There are some days when I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t work at T-Shirts.com. Today is one of those days. I just got invited to a local band’s show tonight, and I need an outfit ASAP.
Why can’t I just wear my work clothes? Well, this morning I picked the flowery shirt of out my closet, the one that I bought because it reminded me of a quilt my great-grandmother made in the 1950s. Then I added a preppy cardigan, pearl earrings, and a headband that would make even Blair Waldorf jealous. I mean the outfit is quite adorable... but I absolutely CANNOT wear an “adorable” outfit to a BIKER BAR where a band that has been described as “a cross between Mötley Crüe and Marilyn Manson” will be playing. I will be eaten alive.
I don’t mind being the only vintage floral print in a sea of black leather, but I don’t want to seem like that clueless 15 year-old prep school girl who shows up at concerts only because she dreams of being the bad boy’s punk rock princess (which, you know, would, like, totally make her parents sooooo mad.)
And beyond not being ostracized, I want to make new friends tonight. So, how am I going to pull off fitting in, looking approachable, AND not losing sense of who I am?
Well, I am pretty lost when it comes to rock ‘n’ roll culture. I am not part of any underground scene, and I cannot place major, historically significant rock bands in the contexts of genres or decades. Genesis and Hall & Oates are as rockin’ as I get (but I think we can all agree that You Make My Dreams Come True is a fantastic song.) Therefore, this Grateful Dead shirt, while wonderfully designed, would not be a good choice for me.
This Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt, on the other hand, is perfect. I can talk classic 90s television like nobody’s business. Did you know that Clarissa and Pete & Pete are making their way back to Nick at Nite? Or that Salute Your Shorts and Are You Afraid of the Dark are totally Canadian? I know because I own them on DVD! And as for TMNT, let me tell you about how I had a crush on Raphael as a kid. His brooding and mysterious persona was so dreamy. Also, I read this crazy artilce last week about the (d)evolution of April O’Neil from smart, determined heroine to ditzy beauty queen. Isn't her intelligence one of the main reasons we loved her in the first place?
Yeah, I can totally rock the Turtle shirt.
And now that it’s settled, I’ve gotta head down to the warehouse and grab my shirt.